What Do You Want? AND What Is Keeping You From Getting It?

"The first step in getting what you want is having the courage to get rid of what you don't." - Unknown

Photo Courtesy of Unsplash

"The only thing keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can't have it."  - Anthony Robbins


During our consultations, I will ask my clients what they want. This simple question can be defined in many ways and often the things that are the most prevalent will come up in the conversation. Typically, the answers are pretty similar, “I want to simplify”, “I want to de-clutter”, “I want to make a change but don’t know where to start”, “I’m tired of living this way and want to feel happier, freer and _______ (fill in the blank)”.

I’m so proud of the people I’ve had the opportunity to work with:  friends, family, clients, business associates and corporations. While I do agree it is good and responsible to plan for the future, I also believe in the philosophy of living in the moment.

And now, I will ask, “What do you want? AND What’s keeping you from getting it?”

1 – Do you want to travel? What are you waiting for? Why not do it now?

2 – Do you want to spend more time with your children or grandchildren?      

What can you do to make this happen sooner rather than later?

3 – Are there things on your bucket list that you haven’t done yet?      

Can you start today or tomorrow or next week getting these important      things accomplished?

4 – What are the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had enough time,       money or energy? Once you have enough money and time, your energy and       health decline.      

Would you be willing to do today with what you have in order to be happier,      more comfortable, more satisfied?

5 – Do you spend a lot of time caring for your things instead of caring for yourself?

Are you ready to live in the moment now instead of someday?

Photo Courtesy of Freshh Connection on Unsplash

I received a list from someone I treasure very much as she and her husband were in the process of downsizing.

Let me know if any of these resonate with you:

A)  Where did I acquire this item? Was it a gift? A purchase?       Do I have it because someone else didn’t want it?

B)  Have I used it? Why or why not?

C)  Would I keep it if I had to carry it with me? Would I move it if I moved?

D)  Who benefits if I keep it? Who could use it more than me?

What is really significant about these questions is item C. This couple is planning on moving out of the country for part of the year. They are intent on getting rid of as much as possible to decrease their stress and worry-factor, especially when they are out of the country.

She told me that she realized she was spending a tremendous amount of time on laundry (because they had so many clothes), cleaning house (because they had a large home) and taking care of things (instead of doing the things they love – traveling and scuba diving). They would not be able to take much, if anything, with them once they lived outside the U.S.

Taking donations to Goodwill and even throwing things away was very cathartic; giving her a sense of empowerment, relief and release. 

When you look at your things from a different angle, it can really put priorities into perspective. Would you actually want this “thing” with you at all times or would you prefer to experience life without the weight of the stuff? Things and stuff don’t create happiness.

They may create a sense of comfort, familiarity and validate our success however happiness is a feeling that comes from within us. Connecting with people and the experiences of life gives us pleasure and the ability to be truly happy.

So, I will ask again, “What do you want? What’s keeping you from getting it?” (Maybe you don't know what you want...)

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