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Finding Comfort Instead of Happiness

Updated: Jul 16, 2019


For a while I have struggled with what it means to be happy.


Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Can I be happy if I am not smiling? Can I be happy only when I feel good, rested or not stressed? Can I be happy with things and not people? Can I be happy with people and not things? Happy has become undefinable to me. I’m not sure what being happy is any longer and I see this more and more in my business.


When decluttering or moving, I often ask my clients if an object brings them happiness when they are trying to decide whether to keep it or get rid of it. They will focus on the object intently while attempting to find the answer. Sometimes it is yes, sometimes it is no, but how can an object make us feel happy or unhappy? If there is a memory attached to the object, then it can cause an emotion. If it is aesthetically pleasing, does that mean we feel happiness when we look at it? If it feels good, does this mean we are happy when we touch it?


Keeping this thought in mind when I began packing for my 3-week trip to Tulum this summer, I carefully considered what I wanted to bring with me. I typically pack very light however this time, I wanted to bring things with me that would help me be comfortable during my stay. The items that I choose were quite significant in their own way and I had some huge a-ha moments before, during and after my trip.




I gathered everything that I felt would create a sense of comfort and packed them into the large suitcase and duffel bag I had purchased especially for the trip. I was surprised at what I chose: ~ 2 pool floats - I had rented a condo with a private pool and a girlfriend would be joining me for a week.

~ 2 feather pillows that I sleep on every night.

~ 22 books - I was taking a break and needed to do some intense soul searching. I ended up reading 16 of them.

~ Specialty food items I needed to help assist my health recovery - protein powders, supplements, etc.

~ Candles, incense and essential oils – I am a huge smell person and smells help me relax and destress.


Then I packed clothes and swimsuits into the space that was left, which was not much.

I arrived, settled in and unpacked. I realized most of the clothes I brought were beautifully colored fabrics with textures that felt good. Seeing them hanging on the clothing rack brought a sense of comfort. They were visually pleasing and provided an aesthetic perspective that I didn’t expect. I brought things that helped me feel at home, comfortable and provided a sense of familiarity. I also realized that I didn’t need anything else; meaning I could have lived with exactly what I brought and nothing more. I had more time to read, relax, be with friends and just “be”. I knew I had to pay attention to this realization once I returned home to see how it would affect my current lifestyle.


I thought about the Law of Attraction. I’ve practiced this concept for many, many years. If you are unfamiliar with it, here is a brief overview taken from www.lawofattraction.com:


“Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action.


This is why the universe is such an infinitely beautiful place. The Law of Attraction dictates that whatever can be imagined and held in the mind’s eye is achievable if you take action on a plan to get to where you want to be.”


Because of Law of Attraction, I set the intention to BE comfortable and there were certain things I needed to help me do just that. I was extremely comfortable during my trip and after I returned home, a huge thought came to mind: life is not about happiness, life is about comfort. Happy can be an intangible and illusive feeling. Comfort is something we can all identify with: a soft blanket, our favorite holiday dish, being around loved ones, feeling a warm fire on a cold night, getting into bed after a long day of work, clean sheets, a full tank of gas, both little and big things. Every single day there is at least one thing that brings us comfort but not necessarily happiness.


My a-ha, lightbulb, illuminating thoughts:


The majority of items I packed for my trip were to bring a sense of ease, rest and relaxation which would provide comfort to me while away from home. They didn’t make me happy, they made me feel comfortable.


When I returned home, I looked around at my furnishings, accessories, clothes and other items in the house. Over the years, I have minimized quite a bit. With the concept of comfort vs. happiness, I concluded that the items in my home bring me comfort and help me be comfortable. They don’t bring happiness, they provide comfort. Minimizing has freed up valuable time that I used to spend cleaning, dusting, doing laundry, washing dishes and other household tasks. Keeping my clothes to a minimum (we only wear 20% of what is in our closets), reduces time spent doing laundry. Reducing the number of tchotchke’s also reduces my cleaning time. Time is our most precious commodity and how we choose to invest it is extremely important.




As we near the end of this year, look around your home and office. What things and people help you feel comfortable? What things and people bring you comfort? Would you like to spend more time living a comfortable life? Utilize the Law of Attraction and call me for a complimentary 15-minute consultation to discuss how you can begin to live in the moment with more comfort!



Wake up in the morning and feel anything is possible!


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