This is surreal. I had truly reconciled myself to the fact that I would be alone for the rest of my life. After all, I divorced in 2010 and for the majority of the last 9 years, I’ve been single more than in relationships.
I’ve worked so hard on myself: healing, therapy, mind-set and perspective. I didn’t want to show up unhealthy or unhealed when I met you. I wanted to be the best I could be so that I could be a partner for you; to love you with my whole heart, to be vulnerable and to share myself and a life we would build together.
In my heart, I felt you were out there somewhere. But the mind has a horrible way of playing tricks on us and my mind kept telling me that it wasn’t going to happen. I needed to give up and move on with my life; accepting I would be alone and to make the necessary adjustments.
One evening, a felt a strong urge to try online dating just one more time. We connected online, over the phone and then in person. From the first time I met you, I felt like I was in a dream. I had entered a world that I didn’t think was possible. There was a familiarity about you that gave me a sense of comfort and ease. When I told my friends about you, they wanted to know what I liked most about you. It was your kindness that was most prominent and the most touching.
And yes, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of unexpected feelings, emotions, thoughts and plans. I recognize that I have to start completely over with you (and with myself) so that I/we can learn how to be in a relationship with each other. This takes time, patience and understanding. I know how important autonomy and space are for both of us. I’m learning to adjust my sensitivity to words and actions. This has been an issue in the past and, as of now, I am letting it go.
My excitement at finding each other feels a little overwhelming. I’m discovering that the best way to handle it is to allow things to unfold in their own time without making demands, assumptions, taking things personal or getting my feelings hurt. Love takes time. I have to trust in love and that love will continue to help us grow together.
We’ve had similar paths and experiences. The commonalities between us are many with the most important being that we are both entrepreneurs. This is a wonderful thing because not many people understand what it takes to own your own business. There can be long, odd hours, last minute appointments and lots of time invested to create a fulfilling life of freedom. It is a constant process of building the business, creating relationships and establishing trust. There can be many ups and downs and changes that are sometimes hard to explain. It is challenging for others to be aware of what it takes however we understand and that is the most important thing.
It takes time to rebuild a life, a business and a create healthy relationships after divorce. It can be difficult to identify some of those things until they show up. I know that being patient, understanding, respectful and kind are the foundation to creating a lasting and loving bond. I also know that I have to commit to being supportive, vulnerable, communicative and open with my feelings. This is something new for me and I will ask your patience and understanding while I work through new patterns and processes. You already know about my fine print because you’ve read “A Letter of Disclosure to My Future Partner”.
I’ll be honest, it’s taking some energy and effort to ignore my mind and the random thoughts that go through my head. I’m intent on staying heart-centered and leading from this place of love, from my gut and from the instincts that tell me everything is “green and green means go”.
I know you can see me. I know what a good man you are. I know how generous and loving and kind you are – these are the things that I admire most about you. I know this is and will be something wonderful that will bring both of us joy, comfort and happiness. I am learning to love what is and how to love deeply, completely and with my whole heart.
King, I believe we’ve been presented with a very special gift which must be opened slowly, carefully and gracefully over time; protecting both the outside and the inside. I've never felt this way before and I’m ready.
Wake up in the morning and feel anything is possible!
Living a life full of light, joy and inspiration is possible,
let’s start here ➡️ Calendly.com/AmyJones