I overcame emotional trauma as an abuse survivor to build a life that I love waking up to every single day.
I am so happy that you are here on this site that I made for YOU.
This is my story and I’d like to invite you in. ⬇
I want you to know who I really am. The highs, the lows, the scars, the bruises. All of the experiences I've had that I can now reflect on in this ever-evolving journey of life that you and I are on.
I bet you've had some similar experiences too.
This page might be different from other life coaches' “About Me”
pages and this is why:
Whenever I read about a new teacher, spiritual advisor, or coach, most of the time, they only speak about the good times and how much they’ve accomplished on their journey.
Because of this, I want to share with you who I really am.
This intimate journey of my life that only a few close friends and family know. They’ve seen me full of laughter and joy. They have also seen me mentally, emotionally, and physically at my worst, watching helplessly as I faded right before their eyes.
This is my story . . .
My life was idyllic until 8th grade.
My father or Daddy, as I called him, was my rock. Life in the panhandle of Texas seemed to be coming up roses.
Yellow roses, of course.
School was my escape from my ever-demanding Mother. She was that Southern Belle that I could never quite please.
I was never enough; never, ever enough and she made sure to remind me every day.
My life continued and all was well until the beginning of 8th grade.
That’s when my life took a turn . . .
Bullied. Tormented. Threatened. Day after day. This would impact me for decades.
I was in a vicious cycle . . .
I was thrown into the harshest cycle on a washing machine -
Extra large. Heavy duty. Cold water.
I felt tossed around at home then hung out at school.
1980 - 1984
The bullying grew increasingly worse. I spent most of the 80s suffering from the most painful migraine-like headaches.
And if that wasn’t enough, I was treated for depression for the first time.
Books continued to rescue me, and then I found another escape.
To be completely transparent, I discovered Soul Train. Yep, dancing along to Soul Train every Saturday morning was another escape.
Can you relate?
Fortunately, at this time, I found passion and delight in fashion design. I began creating my own designs and even entered a few pageants wearing my creations.
1985 - 1990
Finally, I’m at college!! Excited! Woo Hoo!
I feel like this is a new chapter, away from my demanding Mother and bullies at school.
BUT . . . I had no coping mechanisms.
When I got to college, I used sex as a consolation until my boyfriend raped me.
Ashamed. Guilt-ridden. Alone.
I thought these would be the best years of my life.
I wouldn’t tell anyone about the rape for 30 years. Who would believe that my boyfriend raped me?
So I carried the burden alone. An incredibly heavy burden that I thought I could bury deep within me. All I wanted to do was push it down and make it disappear.
(I learned many years later I wasn't the only one carrying a secret.)
1991 - 1996
I’ve graduated from college and pursuing my dream of fashion design.
I'm living in London and it's a thrill. My past traumas were in my rearview mirror!
I knew my "new" life was going to be amazing. Wow, I finally “made” it.
And then, bad news . . . yet again
My dreams of being a fashion designer did not materialize. I was absolutely crushed after only 8 months abroad and had to return to the states.
Naturally . . . I returned to my roots in Texas.
BUT, I would be remiss if I fail to mention that this southern gal from the Texas panhandle was experiencing extreme culture shock after my experience in London. I missed England and the culture tremendously.
Trying to make the most of the sunshine and warmth, I decided to move to Austin. If you’ve been to Texas then you know that Austin and the panhandle can seem light-years apart.
Unfortunately, this is where I would endure my first abusive relationship.
I finally disclosed to my friends that boyfriend threatened to kill himself in front of me. Not surprisingly, they drove straight to Austin, shoved all my shit into the car, and moved me to Dallas.
I hit rock bottom, or so I thought, for the first time.
The perfect life I portrayed was beginning to crumble around me. I felt like a fraud, a disappointment, and especially embarrassed.
Have you ever felt like this?
New address. New job. New life . . . not exactly.
Now, I'm in Dallas
After a misdiagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, I began taking heavy anti-depressants.
And then got involved in another abusive relationship.
At my second diagnosis of cervical cancer, my fiance tells my doctor, “I guess I’m marrying damaged goods.” And I marry him anyway.
He will become my tormentor, emotional, and mental abuser. Ultimately causing me to contemplate ending my own life during our marriage; not once, not twice, but three times.
Can you see a repeating pattern?
Have you ever thought about your own repeating patterns?
Sometimes, they are hard to see when they are our own . . .
1997 - 2010
Life is starting to look bright again with the birth of my 2 beautiful sons.
Except . . .
Now, after each of my sons were born, I have post-partum depression. There were days that I hid in the back of my closet crying a million tears.
No support, no help, and no one to turn to.
Another abusive relationship and deep down I knew I had made a bad decision to marry him
BUT I had two beautiful, wonderful children that, despite everything, I found joy and gratitude in every single day.
When I tell him I want a divorce, he threatens to never let me see my children again.
I hit a new rock bottom...for the second time.
I switch into survival mode, become completely numb and participate just enough so that people will still think I have a happy, joyful, complete life. This was the role I chose to play as a coping mechanism.
I hardly remember anything from this time period. I slowly sank into the lowest, deepest, darkest pit of despair when I decided to leave so that I could divorce him.
It had come down to this or suicide.
2010 - Present
I was referred to a therapist that was an ex-cop. He was a bad-ass, hard-ass that I credit with saving my life.
Because of his background and experience, he was able to see the abuse in the relationship. He told me it was his job to keep me safe because he believed my husband would physically try to harm me.
He told me I had signs of PTSD.
I committed to doing the incredibly hard work necessary to get out of my situation. He held me accountable - something I needed desperately.
Once again . . .
I shoved my shit in the car and drove away BUT this time my circumstances were very different.
I decided to choose me and put my oxygen mask on first.
I had nowhere to live, no job, and no vision of any kind of life.
I could not pay my credit card debt
I defaulted on my car payment causing it to be repossessed.
When I finally found a place to live, I was broken into a few months later just before Christmas.
And you know what . . .
It took me a long time to expose myself to friends and family about the fraudulent life I led and to admit my perfect life was far from perfect.
I was afraid of judgment and criticism and felt like a failure.
My therapist continued to hold me accountable; helping me see the repeating patterns in my life. He told me that I had to get to the point of pain so bad (suicide for the third time) that it forced me to make a change.
Yes, it was the time to look at my life under a microscope. (I was frightened but knew I MUST do this.)
The pain was intolerable and I was finally ready to change.
It started with a book.
Isn’t it interesting how reading the right thing at the right time can make all the difference in the world?
Making you FEEL alive, giving you hope and offering a key to a new way of thinking and sometimes
even a new life?
Little did I know that my life was about to transform.
As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
Can I just tell you?? I was READY!
It's as if a timer went off. Bells were ringing and alarms began roaring in my head.
That’s enough Amy.
That’s enough . . .
No More . . . Pain. Abuse. Suffering. Hopelessness. Loneliness.
I was no longer passively moving through life. I began actively pursuing the life I CHOSE.
My NEW MANTRA:
Waking Up Feeling Anything IS Possible
My perspective changed to looking at experiences in life as lessons, not mistakes.
My therapist recommended a book
I highly recommend you read, ”I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was” by Barbara Sher.
Barbara’s book spoke to me. When I find an author that can relate and give me hope and guidance, it feels as if I won the lottery.
The exercises in the book changed my life, my outlook, and my direction. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt hopeful, relieved, AND empowered.
And, I found a new passion! Organizing!
I uncovered the emotional side of things
As an organizing professional, I began to realize our lives are like the layers of onions.
I saw it in my life as well as in my clients' lives. On the surface my clients needed organizing.
But the simple truth . . .
As they began to reveal layer after layer, it provided insight into their patterns, habits, and attachments. I was then able to help them with deeper, more satisfying, and longer-lasting results.
The organizing business expanded as I continued my journey; becoming an author, a private coach, and an international speaker. I've had the privilege to connect with thousands of people. For that, I'm incredibly grateful.
I feel complete joy in my ability to reach out and lend a helping hand. Assisting my clients by chipping away at their own repeating patterns so that they can see life is truly just beginning.
Not surprisingly . . .
Our journeys lead us to even better places. Places that show my clients how to wake up and feel anything is possible.
My passion has always been helping people and being of service. Through my personal trials and triumphs as well as the experiences of my clients, my goal is to help them feel just like I do every morning . . .
And yes, when you’re ready the teacher will appear and you will discover that anything IS possible.
Cheers to YOU!