I overcame emotional trauma as an abuse survivor to build a life that I love waking up to every single day.
I am so happy that you are here on this site that I made for YOU.
This is my story and I’d like to invite you in. ⬇
I want you to know who I really am. The highs, the lows, the scars, the bruises, the highlights and the low lights that I can now reflect on in this ever evolving journey of life that you and I are on.
This page might be different than other life coaches' “About Me”
pages and this is why:
When I've read about a new teacher, spiritual advisor or coach, most of the time, they only spoke about the good times and how much they’ve accomplished on their journey.
I want to share with you, who I really am; the intimate journey of my life that only a few close friends and family have witnessed. They’ve seen me full of laughter and joy. They have also seen me mentally, emotionally and physically at my worst, watching helplessly as I faded right before their eyes.
This is my story, and I hope that it gives you an idea of who I really am.
My life was idyllic until 8th grade.
My father or Daddy as I called him was my rock. Life in the panhandle of Texas seem to be coming up roses.
Yellow roses, of course.
School was my escape from my ever-demanding Mother. She was that Southern Belle that I could never quite please.
I was never enough; never, ever enough and she made sure to remind me every day.
School continued and all was well until the beginning of 8th grade.
That’s when my life took a turn that would impact me for decades.
Bullied. Tormented. Threatened. Day after day.
I was in a vicious cycle...thrown into the harshest setting on a washing machine; extra large load, heavy duty cycle,
ice cold water; tossed around at home and hung out at school.
1980 - 1984 The Bullying grew increasingly worse. I spent most of the 80’s suffering from the most painful migraine-like headaches.
And if that wasn’t enough, I was treated for depression for the first time.
Books rescued me, and to be completely transparent, I discovered Soul Train. Yes, dancing along to Soul Train every Saturday morning was also my escape.
Can anyone relate?
In the 80’s, I also found delight in fashion design: creating my own designs and entering pageants wearing what I had made.
1985 - 1990 Finally I’m at college!! Excited! I feel like this is a new chapter, away from my demanding Mother and bullies at school.
As a means of coping, when I got to college, sex became a consolation until my boyfriend raped me.
Ashamed. Guilt-ridden. Strained.
Bullying had taken on a new meaning during what I thought would be the best years of my life.
I wouldn’t tell anyone about the rape for 30 years. Who would believe that my boyfriend raped me? So I carried the burden on my shoulders, this heavy burden that I thought I could bury deep within me as if I could make it disappear.
(I’m learning I’m not the only one carrying a secret that they had thought they had buried.)
1991 - 1996: I’ve now graduated college and pursing my dream of fashion design; living in London and it's a thrill. My mother and the bullies were in my rear view mirror . . .still! And life was going to be amazing.
Wow, I finally “made” it.
My dreams of being a fashion designer did not materialize; absolutely crushed after only 8 months abroad,
I returned to the states.
I returned to my roots - Texas. I would be remiss if I fail to mention that this southern gal from the Texas panhandle was experiencing extreme culture shock from my experience in London.
Trying to make the most of the sunshine and warmth, I decide to move to Austin.
If you’ve been to Texas then you know that Austin and the panhandle can seem light years apart.
Unfortunately, my this is where I would endure my first abusive relationship. And in a nutshell, when I finally disclose to my friends that boyfriend threatened to kill himself in front of me, they shove my shit into my car and move me to Dallas.
I hit rock bottom, or so I thought, for the first time. The perfect life I portrayed was beginning to crumble around me.
I felt like a fraud, a disappointment and especially embarrassed. Have you ever felt like this?
New address. New job. New life….not exactly.
In Dallas, after a mis-diagnosis of MS, I began taking heavy anti-depressants.
And then got involved in another abusive relationship.
At my second diagnosis of cervical cancer, my fiance tells my doctor, “I guess I’m marrying damaged goods.” And I marry him anyway. He will become my tormentor, emotional and mental abuser. Ultimately causing me to contemplate ending my own life during our marriage; not once, not twice, but three times.
Can you see a repeating pattern?
Have you ever thought about your own repeating patterns?
1997 - 2010 Life is starting to look bright again with the birth of my 2 beautiful sons.
Except now, after each of my sons were born, I have post-partum depression. There were days that I hid in the back of my closet crying a million tears.
No support, no help and no one to turn to. Yet again, I was in another abusive relationship. Deep down I knew
I had made a bad decision to marry him.
When I tell him I want a divorce, he threatens to never let me see the boys again . I hit a new rock bottom...for
the second time. I switch into survival mode, become completely numb and participate just enough so that people will still think I have a happy, joyful, complete life.
I hardly remember anything from this time period. I slowly sank into the lowest, deepest, darkest pit of despair when I decided to leave my boys so that I could divorce him.
It had come down to this or suicide.
2010 - Present
I began seeing an ex-cop turned therapist that saved my life. He was a hard ass and saw my husband for exactly what he was. He told me it was his job to keep me safe because he believed my husband would physically try to harm me.He told me I had signs of PTSD and held me accountable to do the hard work necessary to get out of the situation I was in.
Once again, I shoved my shit in the car and drove away...this time my circumstances were very different.
Even though I had nowhere to live, no job and no vision of a new life, could not pay my credit card debt or car payment (my car was then repossessed) and finally when I find a place to live, I get broken into the week before Christmas, I decided to choose me and put my oxygen mask on first.
It took me a long time to expose myself to friends and family about the fraudulent life I led and to admit my perfect life was far from perfect. I was afraid of judgment and criticism and felt like a failure.
My therapist continued to hold me accountable; helping me see the repeating patterns in my life. He told me that I had to get to the point of pain so bad (suicide for the third time) that it forced me to make a change.
Yes, it was the time to take a microscope into my life. The pain was intolerable and I was finally ready to change.
It started with a book.
YES! Isn’t it interesting how just reading the right thing at the right time can make all the difference?
Making you FEEL alive, giving you hope and granting the key to a new way of thinking and sometimes
even a new life?
Little did I know that my life was about to transform.
As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
Can I just tell y’all?? I was READY!
It's as if a timer went off; bells were ringing and alarms started roaring in my head.
That’s enough Amy. That’s enough...Pain, Abuse, Suffering, Hopelessness.
I was no longer passively moving through life. I began actively pursuing the life I CHOSE; waking up feeling anything is possible.
My perspective changed to looking at experiences in life as lessons, not mistakes.
My therapist recommended a book entitled, ”I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was” by Barbara Sher.
Barbara’s book spoke to me. When I find an author that can relate and give me hope and guidance, it feels as if I won the lottery.
The exercises in the book changed my life, my outlook and my direction. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt hopeful, relieved and empowered.
And, I found a new passion! Organizing!
As an Organizing professional, I uncovered the emotional side of it.
It was like an onion: on the surface the clients needed organizing, but as I peeled back layer after layer, I gently unmasked clients’ patterns, habits and attachments. This resulted in allowing me to help them with deeper, more satisfying and longer-lasting results.
The organizing business expanded as I continued my journey; becoming an author, a private coach and an international speaker. Visit my In the Media page for interviews, podcasts and musings with Thought Leaders.
I felt complete joy in the ability to reach out and lend a helping hand. Assisting my clients by chipping away at their own repeating patterns so that they can see life is truly just beginning.
And our journeys lead us to even better places; places that show my clients how to wake up and feel anything is possible.
My passion has always been helping people and being of service. Through my personal trials and triumphs as well as the experiences of my clients, my goal is to help them feel just like I do every morning...
And yes, when you’re ready the teacher will appear and you will discover that anything is possible.